Therapy First Retreat: A Story of Connection, Hope and Inspiration Despite Tyranny

I am pictured with Therapy First president Paul Garcia-Ryan and Sara Stockton

In mid-June an organization called “Therapy First” held its very first in-person summer retreat. Therapy First states on its website: “Therapy First is a non-profit professional association of over 300 mental health providers worldwide who view psychotherapy as the appropriate first-line treatment for gender dysphoria.” About five years ago, this statement wouldn’t have been very controversial among mainstream mental health professionals. Now, however, many of these therapists work in hiding. In fact, a large proportion of those 300 do not disclose their names publicly. Gender has become such a controversial topic that most therapists who agree with Therapy First’s statement stay out of this area of work completely. Those who dare to work with patients with gender issues face multiple complaints on their professional licensure. The accusation of ‘conversion therapy’ towards therapists who simply want to do their jobs ethically is real. As someone who is no longer managing a full-time practice due to health issues, I don’t personally feel the same threat. However, at the retreat, during our first meal together, three out of eight were actively fighting a complaint on their license. I later learned another participant is fighting a complaint, simply because she “misgendered” a patient in her writing. From what I understand, everyone who has faced a complaint was vindicated. However, the stress and legal fees are the punishment. The genuine threat of cancellation is enough to keep people in hiding.

Despite these obstacles, about 50 likeminded therapists got together at an undisclosed yoga retreat center in the north east of the United States. There were even attendees who came all the way from Europe. The three-day event included food and boarding and multiple thought provoking talks. Yet, it was very affordable because Therapy First subsidized the event. They knew just how important it was to get us together and put their money behind it. This was money well spent.

The first day of the program opened with a panel of the major whistleblowers who have broken the dam and forced corrupt institutions to reflect on their non-evidence-based practices. For me, it was inspiring to see them all up on stage together. Jamie Reed, the first major whistleblower from a pediatric gender clinic in Washington University at St. Louis Children’s hospital was asked about courage. She stated, “You can not do courageous things if you don’t have people behind you to trust.” It was a perfect beginning to the retreat. We were there to find people to trust. She emphasized how important it is to be courageous and still be able to get home and get dinner to her kids. She discussed the reality that people need to “be self-aware and assess their risk.” In other words, the risk is still very high and the fear of losing safety and livelihood is real.

Also on stage was Tamara Pietzke, a therapist who worked for MultiCare, one of the largest hospital systems in Washington State and was pressured to approve hormones for a 12 year old with severe trauma. She said, “I think it is so important to have someone to talk to so you don’t think you are crazy. Finding that support is so important.” This is exactly what this retreat

was for, to find that support so more people can come forward safely.

An interesting theme from the panel was when these whistleblowers pointed out their concerns to their superiors, they didn’t get into an argument about why gender affirmation was correct, rather, the supervisors said “What do you want me to do about it?” The powerlessness they felt was palpable.

Sara Stockton, who is well known from Matt Walsh’s documentary “What is a Woman?” worked closely with many of the pioneers of gender affirming care early in her career. Since she learned of former clients having regret and harm, she has been holding severe guilt. She has the integrity to admit she was wrong, but not without a price. She called it “Moral Injury” in a later talk. She describes moral injury as “When someone engages in acts that go against their beliefs.” I reflected on the many times I was in that situation as a social worker and clinical

supervisor, when I ignored my intuition because I was pressured to do certain things. No one is immune from this. However, during the COVID lockdowns and with gender affirmation, moral injuries are happening more frequently. Sara spoke about self-forgiveness and she is still wrestling with her own guilt. She isn’t alone. She said “The toll of not speaking up was more difficult.” That’s exactly how I feel, too. I was once fooled to believe that helping youth understand their identity without family interference was helpful. Now I know I was used to push an agenda that has been carefully mapped out for years.

While we heal from our moral injuries, it’s often difficult to remember the importance of good mental health care. The ideological capture of our profession, plus the recent release of the book “Bad Therapy” by Abigail Shrier and the well-deserved criticism of the mental health profession by conservative influencers like Matt Walsh all paint an ugly picture for mental health care. However, seasoned therapist Joe Burgo reminded me of how much we are needed with his talk, Good Therapy: Answering Abigail Shrier. He spoke of how meaningful his work is. He discussed how he is able to connect with his patients who would otherwise be isolated, and build an environment for them so they can heal from deep wounds. I was inspired. It’s easy to get locked into a negative spiral and see all of the harms of therapy and forget how much mental health professionals have helped people. I needed this reminder. It’s been a long time since I’ve done in-person clinical consultations with people who are not trying to promote a social justice agenda or are stuck in therapy group-think.

Later, we broke into small groups where people could discuss real life cases and get peer feedback. This is something our profession always valued tremendously. It’s necessary to trust your peers and be open and these consultations are vital to maintain quality work. I was a clinical supervisor and spent years leading similar consultation groups. However, with the institutional capture and fears of cancel culture, most therapists stay silent or work in isolation. Being back in an environment where I learned from other insightful professionals and could contribute to the clinical discussion was priceless.

However, the real magic of the conference happened during the down times. I’m one of the few that can speak my mind and be honest about my views around others. Although, for many, this was the first time they felt comfortable doing so. There were hikes, bonfires, and fun dinners. Many of us exchanged numbers. In a world so divided and controlled by fear, this retreat was a place we could finally be ourselves. On the last day, a participant reminded us that we were a part of history. In 20 years, we will reflect on this week in June of 2024 and remember that this was the first event of its kind, and its impact will be far reaching.

Pamela Garfield-Jaeger is a licensed clinical social worker and supervisor with over 20 years of experience in a variety of settings including schools, clinics, hospitals and private practice. Since dealing with a health issue, and being fired for not complying with the California state COVID mandates, Pamela has been emboldened to speak about the ideological capture of her profession. Pamela is the author of the book “A Practical Response to Gender Distress: Tips and Tools for Families”, available on Amazon. Pamela also provides consultations for families via her website www.thetruthfultherapist.org.