Speaking out.
My journey from severe chronic pain to being outspoken on the corruption of the mental health system
I don’t pretend to be better than those who remain quieter on the topics I’ve been loud about. I’m in a unique situation. I can’t work full time because of a rare chronic condition that I have. I’m married to a man that provides my family income and health care benefits. I also lost many friends and my job due to a rare and painful condition. When you go through a serious medical condition, you learn quickly who your real friends are and unfortunately, many of my once close friends became distant acquaintances. Fear of losing a job and friends were no longer my concern. When you lose so much, there is less to fear.
At UC Davis after a very risky and painful surgery for Thoracic Outlet Syndrome that involved the removal of my top rib May 2018. In November of 2019, I had another surgery in my brachial plexus due to fibrous bands that were compressing my ulnar and median nerves. It took several years for doctors to believe that my symptoms were not “in my head”. Both surgeries had extensive recoveries.
My first rib.
After four years of disability, and only six months after getting back to my profession, I was mandated to take a vaccine that was contra-indicated. After all of the medical struggles I went through (I was bed-ridden for three years, was not believed by doctors and still could not handle a full-time workload due to nerve damage), I knew I was not going to get the COVID vaccine. This decision was clear for me especially since when the vaccine was being pushed, I had recently developed natural immunity. Plus, my vaccinated husband and I caught COVID at the same time. I also watched others with my condition have serious setbacks after they received the MNRA injection. However, the state of California put a stranglehold on medical exceptions and prevented most doctors from writing them. When I initially completed my HR form, I checked the medical exemption box believing I was eligible. After finding out about how restricted doctors had become, I could no longer change course for a religious exemption, which in my case would have been a lie anyway. I made a personal medical decision that was not based on any religion. Nevertheless, religious exemptions were not widely accepted for health care workers in California either.
After all those years (before the pandemic) of being isolated, unable to do daily activities, being taken away from my career and finding out that many of my close friends were not who I thought they were, I was left with a lot of loss. That’s the thing about pain and illness people often don’t recognize; that the hardest part about it is not the severe pain, but the life losses that come along with it. And here I was facing another loss, the fact that I was no longer allowed to work at my new job.
During those six months I was working in the IOP/PHP group therapy program for teens and adults. I was so happy to be back. I enjoyed working with the patients, I enjoyed connecting with colleges in an office. I was in my element finally. However, I was also taking in my environment and was shocked with all of the changes I saw since I last worked in 2016 (see my “Rip Van Therapist” article). I had spoken to colleagues about my beliefs, but not strongly because I was just humbled by the fact that I was returning from a hiatus. I never got a chance to have in-depth conversations with my colleges from the inside. I regret that. I regret that I was weeded out so I could not talk to my peers in a meaningful way. In fact, I had to leave so quietly that I came late in the evening to collect my belongings and never spoke to them again. It was a horrible feeling.
Standing outside San Francisco General Hospital with other medical workers who lost their jobs due to the California State Vaccine mandate in October 2021.
After being displaced from society once again, I realized I had a calling. Despite the fact that I’m shy and I’m deathly afraid of public speaking, I recognized that I had been put in the situation for a reason, to speak out against the corruption in my field and educate parents on what is really happening. I had to be the one to step up because so many have been silenced. I’m doing what is right for my circumstances.
Talking to Don Johnson for his film Dysconnected about the dark side of gender ideology. He said he talked to over 25 mental health professionals before he found me, one of the rare few who is willing to speak publicly. Film is available on www.dysconnectedmovie.com.
But what is right for others? I cannot answer that. What I do know is that dissenting voices are getting stronger and stronger each day. The political climate has changed drastically in the one year since I began to speak out publicly. There have been two major rallies against gender medicine, and there are more to come. There have been several documentaries exposing the how institutions are pushing gender theory onto children. More and more parents are stepping up each day and fighting against school boards who are pushing Critical Race theory, Queer theory and hyper sexualized content onto their children. Detransitioners, who used to be heavily silenced are standing up to radical activists and formed a coalition. These are just a few examples of how harmful left-wing ideas are cracking.
At the Do No Harm Rally in Anaheim, California. October 8, 2022. (From left) I’m pictured with Scott Newgent, Sasha Leigh, Chloe Cole, Jaimee Michell and Abel Garcia.
However, cancel culture is real. It’s not imagined. There is a lot of effort to weed out those who don’t agree with the mainstream narratives. I believe it is the cancelling and silencing that has been a major cause for how radicalized our institutions have become, and the silencing continues to happen. This is the dilemma. People will say “They can’t cancel us all”. While this is true, they still cancel A LOT. Those who would like to continue to serve their clients ethically and need to maintain their livelihoods have valid reasons to stay quieter. There are still enough disillusioned professionals out there who think they are “saving lives” by affirming an alternate gender and they need to “check their privilege”. And those who get cancelled will be easily replaced with younger, more indoctrinated professionals. The graduate schools have become very radical over the years and enough new graduates will fill those places. In addition, states like Oregon and California have even set up laws so organizations have legal authority to fire those who step out of line.
I believe there is a way for those who are still working in institutions who disagree with gender ideology, CRT, reinforcement of victim mentality and other related topics to be strategic. You definitely aren’t alone, but you need to craftily find others who agree and build a network within your organization. We need quiet resisters to fight from the inside too. You can talk to colleagues in a respectful manner and ask challenging questions about how this treatment is helping those with obvious other underlying mental health conditions such as trauma, autism and family dynamic issues. I find when you talk ideas without being combative, many can hear you out. I also believe in the long-term, the best solution will be to build new institutions and now is when we build coalitions to do that.
Should everyone be posting memes and reels on social media? No. Should everyone be out on the streets every week with billboards convincing the public how dangerous gender medicine is? No. These are great things, but they are only certain ways people can use their voices. If that doesn’t match who you are, or your circumstances, there are still impactful ways you can make a difference. You can talk to friends, families (in person is best). You can join a group like Moms for Liberty or MOM Army, you can write letters to your local politicians about bills you disagree with. You can attend a rally. You can ask your supervisor simple questions. You can also support others who are sticking their necks out. You can even be an anonymous whistleblower. We need people on the inside and out to fight. I do recommend starting an off-ramp so you can work independently and live by your conscience.
If you are reading this, I hope you find your place to make a difference, because everyone can. Remember: courage is courageous.
Pamela Garfield-Jaeger, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker with over 20 years of experience. She is located in the Bay Area of California.
Pamela is not captured by ideology and cancel culture, so she is not afraid to speak the truth. You can find in-depth classes on how to navigate the mental health system on her website: