From De-stigmatizing to Normalizing Mental Illness

In the attempt to de-stigmatize mental illness, we have normalized it and its not helping anyone

When did mental illness become fashionable? When did everyone start using the terms “triggered”, “PTSD” and “self-care”? When did it become cool to show off self-harm scars? When did broadcasting a mental health diagnosis give people status?

I find myself in a strange position as someone who has spent over 20 years campaigning to de-stigmatize mental health to help people feel comfortable enough to seek mental health services to now feeling queazy as I hear the general population use therapy-speak to normalize mental health issues. For so long, it was difficult to encourage people to seek help when they needed it and not feel shame for having a diagnosis. I worked in IOP/PHP (individualized outpatient programs/partial hospitalization programs) settings with severely mentally ill adults and teens, and one of the biggest barriers to treatment was helping the patients accept that they had a problem due partially to the stigma associated with their conditions. In fact, in 2010 after a cluster of suicides in Palo Alto, I even organized a community event on de-stigmatizing mental health so people wouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help. I led a fundraiser for Kevin Hines, a man who survived a jump off the Golden Gate Bridge to speak about his inspiring story so others are comfortable seeking appropriate mental health care if they are feeling suicidal. (read about Kevin Hines here)

I’m pictured with Kevin Hines and Dr. Dan Reidenberg, executive director of SAVE (Suicide Awareness Voices of Education save.org) 2010 in Palo Alto, California

However, there is an important distinction between de-stigmatizing something and celebrating it. I do not want mental illness celebrated. I believe most people with genuine mental illness don’t want it celebrated either. I’ve worked for so many years with people who struggle with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder type 1 who have endured serious manic episodes and psychosis. For about four years, I led a support group for young-adults (many were Stanford students) with bi-polar disorder at a mental health program in Palo Alto. The patients all had different presentations. Some had multiple manic episodes, some struggled more with chronic depression. Many did awful things which led to being arrested. What they all had in common was that when they were in an episode, control of their behaviors was very difficult and sometimes impossible. The key to treatment for most was management of symptoms via therapy and medication after recognizing that they had a problem. It’s a long and difficult process, but many made significant progress. The group members supported each other, which was one of the most healing aspects of the program. The patients also were in therapy with doctors and therapists that gave them individualized care. (This was 2008-2012).

As the group shared horrific stories, they would often ask me, “Is this normal?” I responded directly and with compassion, “No, it isn’t normal.” I went on to be honest with them and say, “This doesn’t happen to everyone, in fact it doesn’t happen to most people”. This response gave them relief. They were relieved to hear the truth. If they are led to believe that this kind of pain and suffering is normal, how does that help them? What kind of hope is that? What’s the point of working towards healing if this is the norm? How does a lie of that magnitude help them relate to people that have no idea what a manic episode even looks like? Why would they want to address their diagnosis if celebrities and influencers claim the same problems but exhibit none of the repercussions?

Fast-forward to today when mental health issues are celebrated. People broadcast their diagnosis on their social media pages. Mental illness is glorified on TV and in film. Celebrities get more attention when they speak publicly about their mental health issues. As a result, people often self-diagnose, just to feel a part of something. Many modern therapists and health care providers believe it is kinder to say severe symptoms are normal when that’s not true. The word “affirm” is used WAY too often nowadays, and not just regarding gender identity. In addition, kids are learning to play up their mental health issues because they learn they will get excused from important life challenges unchecked. Just last year in a teen group therapy session I led, the kids admitted that they lied about their mental health to gain victim status. They proudly admitted it. Victimhood is being reinforced by the adults around them so they learned to game the system.

Shocking Pride poster from Amsterdam featuring serious self-harm scars

While we need to give allowances for serious struggles, much of healing is about facing real life. It certainly isn’t about being celebrated for having a medical or mental health condition. There is no incentive to get healthy when you are celebrated and reap benefits for being sick.

The other major problem with all of this celebration and minimization of real symptoms is that it is getting harder and harder to tell who needs help. I feel like I was part of the problem because I was screaming from the rooftops to de-stigmatize mental illness. Now society has embraced mental illness to such an extent that the people who need help aren’t getting it anymore. Providers can’t know who has real trauma when everyone is saying they are traumatized. We don’t know who has deep depression when everyone claims they are depressed. It is difficult to determine who has crippling anxiety when everyone talks about panic attacks. These struggles shouldn’t be diluted and they certainly shouldn’t be celebrated.

We do need to celebrate being healthy, we need to celebrate hard work and perseverance. We need to celebrate healing. When wellness is celebrated, true mental health issues are recognized and treated with compassion, then there will be less incentive to remain mentally ill and those who truly need help will receive it.

Pamela Garfield-Jaeger is a licensed clinical social worker in California. She completed her MSW in 1999 from New York University. She has a variety of experience in schools, group homes, hospitals and community-based organizations. Since getting fired for not getting the C*VID vaccine, she has dedicated herself to educate parents and embolden other mental health professionals to challenge the ideological capture of her profession.

For more detailed information on how to empower yourself as a parent and navigate the mental health field, see the Parents' Guide to Mental Health.